If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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