I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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