I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
