Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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