How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
