This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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