Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
