you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
