Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
