Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
