I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Enjoy the penises
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
