No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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