That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
