Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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