Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
