So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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