i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
