babies were throwing up all over the place
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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