He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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