remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
