Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
