How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
