my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
