I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize