is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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