Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
