my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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