What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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