they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
