thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize