I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
