sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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