in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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