she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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