Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
