I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
