I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
