Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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