It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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