Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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