I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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