I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
