Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
