I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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