This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
