Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
