my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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