im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
