also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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