Small penises have feelings too.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
