What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
