Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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