im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize