um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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