using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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