google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
