you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
