Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
do herpes really smell.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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