Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
