Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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